Messaging Systems / Large Data Databases choice

Just wondering what everyones choices in database are when working with large data that only certain users can see etc a example of this is Discord

You have the server chat groups where all users in the chat see the messages and same with private messages users can join and chat and only specified users can access the messages

I believe Discord uses a NoSql Database for this Cassandra, is NoSql the way to go for messaging systems and larger amounts of data?

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